Friday, May 13, 2011

Mothers - Doing the Best We Can

I found this blog post this morning and it really spoke to me. I never saw myself as a working mom--in the predominant culture where I live and the religion that I practice, stay-at-home moms are praised and portrayed as the ultimate ideal for all mothers. Working moms are few and far between, and one gets the impression that they only are working to put their husbands through school or because their husbands are out of work, never because they truly want to work. If a mother truly wants to work, it's seen as going against the counsel of our leaders, almost as evidence that you "don't love your children enough" to stay home with them.

I have gone through countless hours of guilt for working full-time since my son was born over three years ago. I cried the night before my maternity leave ended, wondering how I could ever leave this little 4-week-old baby, even though his father would be caring for him at home. And then I began to resent my job, because at the time, it wasn't fulfilling for me and I hated not being at home with my son.

Then things started to change. I got a new job, one that I find challenging and sometimes even exciting. It gives me adult interaction and a sense of purpose and fulfillment. So now I'm a working mom and will likely be for the foreseeable future--and I don't feel that guilt anymore. I'm not sure that my family will ever be able to financially survive on a single income, and that doesn't fill me with dread anymore. As long as I have a good job that doesn't bore me to tears, I think I'll be okay working during the day--maybe part-time, maybe full-time--even while I have young children.

Would I like to be a stay-at-home mom? Honestly, I have mixed feelings about it now. I feel like my son has a great time playing with his friends at daycare, and he loves the activities they do and the games they play. He still comes running up to me with a huge smile and a "Hi, Mommy!" when I pick him up. He gives me the best hugs and kisses, and we have a great time together in the evenings (when he's not playing Angry Birds on Daddy's phone, his current preferred activity) and on the weekends. This may all change when I have another baby, but for now, I'm okay with working and I actually almost prefer it. We're more financially stable and Joshua gets the friend interaction that I wouldn't be able to give him if I were at home.

So anyway. I'm not sure where I'm going with this post. Basically, I liked that post and I do believe that mothers, whether working or those staying home with their kids, are generally all trying to do the best we can. After all, the goal is to raise a righteous generation, right?

4 comments:

kari said...

Here's to my beautiful, talented, bright daughter who is being the best mommy ever, just doing the best she can! I am proud of you. Sometimes our path takes a curve we didn't expect, but you're doing great.

Love you.

Mamapierce said...

You are amazing, Carina! I'm so proud of all that you're doing. Happy Mother's Day! :D

Writing Group Blog said...

You are a very talented woman, Carina. I think being in Utah skews the statistics a little, too. I've known more working moms than non-working moms in our different wards, so you're definitely not alone! And you're doing a great job in all your capacities. Keep goin', mama!

Mickelle said...

It's so easy to look at the way our lives differ from others' lives and feel guilt. I think feeling confident in our own decisions is what the Lord wants for us -- even more than we want it four ourselves! So glad you posted.